So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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