I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
