just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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