someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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