I wish I could teleport
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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