Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
