im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize