If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
