I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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