dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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