it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
