did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
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I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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