I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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