in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
