finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just high enough for therapy.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
