Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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