i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
