You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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