During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
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To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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