i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
