Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
