Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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