his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
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I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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