I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
i out mim tonsoeep
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