im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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