He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
