Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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