I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
