My hair reeks of homosexuality.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
