you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
