Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
