i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
