Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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