Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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