This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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