meet me or not, i'm out of control
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Randomize
