I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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