Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Alive.
So much puke
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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