Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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