if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize