Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize