Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
im holly from the hills drunk
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
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sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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