porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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