Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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