I just pynch a tree in the face
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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