He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I will pee on everything he values.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
