I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
wow bdsm is so cute
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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