She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
