your parents love me but you hate me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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