My hand turned me down
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis