last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
