He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm having to shit out rocks
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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