i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
