He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
