try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
