I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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