Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
