you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize