I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
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It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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