Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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