Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
